Surviving the Sancti-Mommies: A Guide for the Judged and Jaded

Let’s talk about a special breed of mother: the Sancti-Mommy. You know the type. She’s the self-appointed Queen of All Things Parenting, here to bestow her infinite wisdom upon you—whether you asked for it or not. She’s got strong opinions on everything—screen time (none, ever), organic-only diets (of course), and the absolute worst offense: how you are raising your child.

I’ve been in the trenches of motherhood for quite a while. I’ve raised a child to adulthood, and I’m currently wrangling a teenager and a pre-teen. I’ve done the sleepless nights, the tantrums, the school drama, the sports schedules, and the why-do-they-keep-eating-like-I’m-feeding-a-small-army phase. And yet, despite my literal decades of experience, I still somehow find myself dealing with these high-horse-riding moms who act like their way is the only way.

Honestly? I’m over it.

Who Are the Sancti-Mommies?

Sancti-mommies come in various flavors, including but not limited to:

• The Natural Mama – If your child has ever had a processed snack, you might as well hand over your mom card. She ground her own baby food from day one and will let you know it. Repeatedly.
• The Screen-Free Saint – Her child has never watched TV, played video games, or touched an iPad. (You’ve also never seen this woman alone in a room with her kids for more than ten minutes, so… interesting.)
• The Competitive Crafter – Homemade Halloween costumes? Always. Bake sale? From scratch. School projects? Museum-quality. You, with your store-bought cupcakes? Shame.
• The Sports-Obsessed Strategist – Her kid is obviously going pro in three different sports, and if your child isn’t specializing at age 6, well, enjoy your mediocrity.
• The Gentle-Parenting Guru – Everything is a “teachable moment,” and if you ever raise your voice, you’re a monster. Consequences? No, no. “We just talk through our feelings.” (Meanwhile, her kid is running wild at Target, knocking over displays.)

Why Do They Do This?

Simple: insecurity. Parenting is hard, and instead of admitting they’re winging it (like the rest of us), sancti-mommies double down on their “perfect” approach. If they convince themselves their way is the way, then they don’t have to sit with the reality that, deep down, no one has this whole parenting thing figured out.

How to Deal With Them (Without Losing Your Sanity)

1. Recognize That Their Judgment Says More About Them Than You

Their need to be right doesn’t make you wrong. Their loud opinions don’t override your lived experience. Just because they say something with confidence doesn’t mean it’s true.

2. Smile, Nod, and Keep It Moving

Sometimes, the best response is no response. Let them talk, let them judge, and then go right back to doing whatever works best for you and your family.

3. Deploy the Power of Sarcasm (When Necessary)

When a sancti-mommy makes a particularly bold statement, a simple “Wow, you must be exhausted from being right all the time” works wonders.

4. Don’t Engage in the One-Up Game

Resist the urge to defend yourself or explain your choices. You owe them nothing. Your kid, your rules. End of discussion.

5. Find Your People

Not every mom is like this. Seek out the ones who understand that we’re all just doing our best. Those are the moms you want in your corner.

6. Trust Yourself

I’ve been doing this mom thing long enough to know that there is no one right way. If your kid is happy, healthy, and loved, you’re doing great. Period.

Final Thoughts

Sancti-mommies will always exist. They will always have opinions, and they will always find something to criticize. But here’s the thing—they don’t matter. Your kids won’t remember whether you followed the latest parenting trends. They’ll remember how you made them feel, the love you gave them, and the memories you created together.

So let the sancti-mommies judge. You’ve got more important things to do—like enjoying the chaos of raising actual human beings.