Curiosity

A few months ago, before the holidays, I had a revelation about myself. I was immersed in planning for Christmas, which always leads me toward planning for the new year, and I realized that I often talk myself out of doing things when I’m feeling insecure. I started to become curious about my behavior.

Too often friends or colleagues will invite me to try something and my instinct is usually to say no. Later, I’ll think about how fun the activity seemed and why I was too shy, or scared, to step out of my comfort zone.

I have been working on being more brave and the biking event I participated in last September was my first big step toward that goal.

So why am I still so reluctant to say yes?

I am a naturally curious person. I love to learn and seek knowledge by reading books, watching TED Talks and online seminars. But when it comes to certain social engagements, I find that if I’m feeling uncomfortable, I say no to avoid dealing with the emotions I’m feeling. I decided this insecurity and fear must end.

In yoga class, my instructor often asks us to get curious about what’s happening in our bodies when we move into various poses. She tells us to acknowledge our thoughts, whether positive or negative, and then let them go. It’s not always easy to follow this advice during class, but I try. And sometimes I’m successful.

It was during my revelatory moment that I discovered I must let go of the thoughts and emotions that hold me back in order to stay curious and not be so reluctant to try new things.

How do you get and stay curious? I’m so glad you asked, I’ve made a list:

1. Be a “yes” person. I don’t mean that you have to say yes to everything and everyone around you. (Who has time for that? Not me.) Instead of defaulting to “no,” respond by saying, “Yes, tell me more!” or “Yes, I’ll try that with you!”
2. Investigate things that spark your interest. Make discoveries. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Do some research, jump on Google, and learn more about what interests you. Too often I make a mental note to check into something, only to forget about it soon after. Keeping a list is helpful. For example, I have recently become interested in snowshoeing. I’ve been researching different brands and have a list of places I’d like to go once I’ve made my purchase. I also have a list of books I want to read that pertain to my newest interests.
3. Ask questions. I’ve stopped being afraid to show that I don’t know the answers to some things. I wonder aloud and ask others to share their advice and experiences.
4. Practice being present. Become engaged. Put down your phone, or turn it off if it’s a big distraction. I find that when I’m present in the moment with others, and our shared experiences, I’m more likely to be curious.
5. Become a student of things you’re interested in and learn as much as you can about them. You might be surprised where your exploration takes you. Recently I was very intrigued by other religions, namely the FLDS church and it’s polygamist past. I devoured every book I could find on the religion, its members and the experiences of those who left the FLDS church. This led me to learn more about Mormonism, Joseph Smith, and how the state of Utah became the LDS capital of the world.

Curiosity is the desire to learn, or acquire knowledge, about everything or even specific topics. We are all born with it. Babies are especially curious about the world around them. My children ask many questions every day. However, as we grow, we shift from curious learning to knowing and, as an adult, we can reach a learning plateau. None of us is an expert in all things, so continual learning is essential.

Get curious.