New Beginnings

We’re three weeks into 2022 and I have to say that this year feels different, in a good way. Honestly, I can’t quite put my finger on what is making me feel optimistic. I don’t want to jinx it so I have resigned myself to simply accept what the universe brings forth and go with the flow. Maybe that’s the change; I’ve learned to let go of anything I can’t control and embrace the good things headed my way.

I didn’t set resolutions this year, but I did write intentions in my journal. One was to consistently exercise. I set a goal of walking five days per week. Looking back at my fitness tracker I’ve only managed to work out four days each week since January 1st. The old me would have had a panic attack about not being perfect; she would have given up and quit working altogether, because her plan was ruined. The new me is giving myself grace, doing what I can in the time I have available and letting go of the need for perfection.

Another intention was to read more, and that’s gotten off to a rocky start. Last year I read over 60 books and my goal was 52. This year my goal is 60 and I have yet to complete one of the two I started reading this month. Working from home is a big distraction. When I have a free moment I tidy up the house, swap laundry from washer to dryer, or work out over lunch. Reading has taken a backseat for now, but I’m confident I’ll catch up.

The best part of January is it’s a colder month, and I feel the need to stay home more often than going out. I’m comfortable in this season of dormancy. I love starting the fireplace, watching movies (or even football) with the boys, and not having any obligation to be anywhere but home.

This month I’ve adopted a mantra, “Do not be tempted by expectation.” It resonates with me because I’ve observed my friends and acquaintances chasing after their goals and ambitions, but not in a way that serves them. I see them competing with others, with the world. They compare what they have to what they do not have. I’m guilty of this, too.

When I began to reflect on this, I realized I had been in a frenetic pace of activity for too long, and I no longer understood what I was chasing after. After much thought I realized that my ego desired to be successful and I unknowingly forfeited my attention to the temptation of certain achievements, or societal expectations. By caring too much about what others expect of me, I missed opportunities to experience my life in ways that are true to who I am.

So, this year I’m focusing on me, my goals, and my ambitions. I will not be tempted by expectation. I will choose to “let go” because letting go is a choice for new beginnings.