You Are Not At Fault

We think during difficult times that we are at fault. Doing this makes sense because if we take the blame, maybe we can take control and do something about the situation.

But could I really control the situations of my childhood? No.

Did I really have the capacity to change things my parents did or did not do? No.

It has taken me many months to finally accept that I can’t change my family members. I can’t make them see me. I can’t make them listen to me. I can’t make them love me. I can’t control what they do, say, think or feel.

I can only change myself. I can decide what I will and will not tolerate.

I am not responsible for the emotions and thoughts of others.

I am not to blame when someone cannot accept or respect my boundaries.

I am not at fault for abuse that I endured in my childhood. I was a child. The adults were supposed to protect me. They were supposed to meet my needs, not the other way around.

If you’re going through difficult things with your dysfunctional family, please know that you are not at fault.