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  • Boy Mom: What Your Son Needs Most from You

    As a mother to three sons, I’m often reading books about parenting. It’s not easy to navigate the journey of raising boys to become strong young men. One recent read has inspired me and I’m eager to share this book with you.

    “Boy Mom: What Your Son Needs Most from You” by Monica Swanson is an engaging and heartfelt exploration of the unique journey of raising boys. Swanson’s personal anecdotes, combined with her practical advice, make this book a valuable resource for mothers navigating the joys and challenges of raising sons.

    Swanson’s writing style is warm, relatable, and conversational, making it easy for readers to connect with her experiences. She shares her own struggles and triumphs as a mother of boys, creating a sense of camaraderie with fellow moms who are on the same journey. Her authenticity shines through, and readers will appreciate her willingness to be vulnerable about the uncertainties and moments of growth she’s faced.

    One of the strengths of “Boy Mom” is its blend of personal stories with actionable insights. Swanson offers practical advice for understanding and connecting with boys at different stages of development. She discusses topics such as communication, discipline, building character, and nurturing their individual interests. Her suggestions are grounded in a solid understanding of child psychology and development, making them both relatable and effective.

    Throughout the book, Swanson emphasizes the importance of fostering strong relationships with boys based on trust and respect. She encourages moms to embrace their role as mentors and guides, while also allowing room for independence and self-discovery. Her guidance empowers mothers to navigate the challenges of raising boys with confidence and grace.

    “Boy Mom” also delves into the significance of encouraging boys to develop a healthy masculinity that values empathy, emotional intelligence, and respect for others. Swanson challenges traditional stereotypes and offers a refreshing perspective on how to raise boys who are not only confident and strong but also kind and compassionate.

    While the book is primarily aimed at mothers, its insights are valuable for anyone involved in the lives of boys, including fathers, grandparents, and educators. Swanson’s approach is inclusive and open-minded, inviting readers from all backgrounds to join the conversation about nurturing the next generation of responsible, well-rounded men.

    I enjoyed this book immensely. “Boy Mom” by Monica Swanson is a compelling blend of personal anecdotes, practical advice, and thoughtful insights into the world of raising boys. Swanson’s genuine approach, combined with her expertise, makes this book a valuable read for anyone seeking guidance on how to navigate the unique journey of mothering boys in today’s world.

  • A Rollercoaster of Emotions: From Aaron Rodgers to Jordan Love – A Packer Fan’s Journey

    It’s Friday, August 11, and the Green Bay Packers are playing a pre-season game against the Cincinnati Bengals. I have the game on the television, but I’m not too invested in watching. This season is different. Aaron Rodgers is no longer a Packer.

    Being a devoted Green Bay Packers fan has always been a ride filled with exhilarating highs and heart-wrenching lows. As news broke in late April that our beloved quarterback, Aaron Rodgers, had been traded to the New York Jets, a wave of sadness washed over Cheesehead Nation. However, amidst the bittersweet emotions, there was undeniable excitement to see the rise of a new era led by quarterback Jordan Love.

    Farewell to a Legend

    Aaron Rodgers, a name synonymous with Green Bay football, has left an indelible mark on the franchise. The memories of his pinpoint passes, game-winning drives, and that unforgettable Super Bowl victory will forever be etched in the hearts of Packers fans. Saying goodbye to such an iconic figure is undeniably tough, leaving fans like me with a sense of nostalgia for the moments shared and accomplishments achieved.

    The Jordan Love Era Dawns

    As the dust settled from the trade, a sense of anticipation filled the air. Jordan Love, a young and talented quarterback, is poised to step into the spotlight. Drafted with high expectations, Love has had the privilege of learning under Rodgers’ guidance, soaking up wisdom and experience that only a future Hall of Famer can provide. Now, it’s his turn to prove his mettle and showcase the skills that made him a standout in college.

    The Hope and Uncertainty

    Optimism abounds as we enter this new chapter in Packers history. Jordan Love has showcased glimpses of his potential in practice and preseason games, leaving fans hungry for more. The anticipation of witnessing his growth and development as he takes the reins of the offense is both thrilling and nerve-wracking. There’s an undeniable hope that Love can build upon the foundation laid by Rodgers and lead the Packers to future victories.

    Embracing Change

    Change is never easy, especially when it involves bidding adieu to a player who has become a symbol of the team’s success. Yet, being a Packers fan has always been about more than just one player. It’s about the spirit of the team, the camaraderie among fans, and the unwavering support that transcends individual players.

    As we adjust to the reality of a Packers team without Aaron Rodgers, it’s crucial to remember that change is a natural part of sports. The torch is passed from one generation to the next, and it’s our role as fans to stand by our team through thick and thin.

    The departure of Aaron Rodgers has undoubtedly left a void in the hearts of Green Bay Packers fans. However, with every ending comes a new beginning, and the rise of Jordan Love offers a glimmer of hope and excitement for what lies ahead. As we don our green and gold jerseys and gather to cheer on our team, let us remember that being a true fan means embracing change and supporting the Packers through every twist and turn.

    So here’s to the memories shared with Rodgers and the promising future that awaits with Jordan Love under center. As we navigate this rollercoaster of emotions, one thing remains certain: our unwavering dedication to the Green Bay Packers will continue to shine bright. Go Pack Go!

  • Rainy Days and Mondays

    Rainy days and Mondays hold a unique place in our hearts, blending melancholy and nostalgia into a symphony of emotions. The soft patter of raindrops against the windowpane seems to echo the rhythm of our thoughts, a gentle reminder of the passing of time.

    As the world outside glistens with rain-kissed beauty, there’s an undeniable connection between the weather and our feelings. Mondays, often seen as the start of new beginnings, find a companion in rain, soothing the transition from the weekend’s warmth to the workweek’s responsibilities.

    In these quiet moments, we’re given the chance to reflect, to remember, and to appreciate the simple joys that life brings – a cup of warm tea, a cozy blanket, and the sound of rain as a gentle backdrop to our thoughts. So, let us embrace these days, allowing them to wash over us with a bittersweet embrace, knowing that within their embrace lie opportunities for self-care, introspection, and a chance to find beauty in life’s everyday rhythms.

  • Sacred Insights: Reflection on John 3:16-18

    One of my goals for the year was to read the Bible more. It’s not an easy feat, given how busy we are. I have started off well, then let myself lapse, and now I’m trying my best to be consistent in my reading. We’ll see how this goes.

    One of the bible versus I’ve had memorized since I was a young kid in catechism class is in the gospel of John, where God the Father sacrifices his own son, Jesus, to pay the debt of human sin. Today I read the verse with fresh eyes and I wanted to share my thoughts.

    John 3:16-18 is a profound and impactful passage that encapsulates the essence of Christianity and the message of God’s love and salvation. This verse holds a special place in the hearts of believers as it unveils the core principles of faith, grace, and redemption. Let’s delve into a reflective exploration of these verses:

    John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”

    This verse serves as a poignant reminder of the magnitude of God’s love. It’s a declaration that His love is boundless and all-encompassing, extending to every corner of the world and to every individual. The concept of God giving His only Son emphasizes the depth of His sacrificial love, as Jesus’ ultimate sacrifice on the cross symbolizes God’s desire for reconciliation with humanity. As believers, we’re invited to embrace this love and accept the gift of eternal life through faith in Jesus Christ.

    John 3:17: “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.”

    This verse shifts our perspective from fear and condemnation to hope and salvation. It underscores God’s intention behind sending Jesus to the world. Instead of coming to pass judgment, Jesus came to offer a path to salvation. It’s a profound reminder that God’s desire is not to condemn but to redeem, to rescue us from our brokenness and sin. This message encourages believers to approach God with confidence, knowing that His arms are open wide for those who seek His grace.

    John 3:18: “Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God.”

    This verse highlights the importance of faith in Jesus Christ as the foundation of salvation. Belief in Him is the transformative key that removes the weight of condemnation. It stresses the role of our own choices in accepting or rejecting God’s offer of redemption. The verse underscores that the ultimate condemnation lies not in God’s judgment, but in choosing to remain separated from the source of life and light. It urges us to ponder the significance of our beliefs and their eternal consequences.

    Reflecting on these verses, I am reminded of the immense privilege we have in embracing God’s love and salvation. It’s a call to respond to His love with trust and faith, allowing it to shape our lives and draw us into a deeper relationship with Him. As we internalize the message of John 3:16-18, may we be inspired to share this transformative love with others and to live out the faith that springs from the wellspring of God’s boundless grace.

  • Navigating Toxic Family Dynamics: Breaking Free from Harmful Expectations

    Family is often thought of as a sanctuary of love and support, a place where individuals find solace and encouragement. However, not all families fit this idyllic image. Toxic families are characterized by harmful patterns of behavior, communication, and expectations that can have a profound impact on the mental and emotional well-being of their members, particularly children. In this post, we’ll delve into the rules and expectations toxic families often place on their children, the effects these dynamics can have, and strategies for overcoming the challenges they present.

    The Rules and Expectations of Toxic Families

    Toxic families often exhibit distinct rules and expectations that create an environment marked by emotional manipulation, control, and unrealistic demands. These rules can include:

    1. Silence and Secrecy: In many toxic families, open communication about problems or concerns is discouraged or even forbidden. Children are often taught to keep family issues hidden from outsiders, fostering a sense of isolation and preventing the healing process.
    2. Unrealistic Perfectionism: Toxic families may place an unhealthy emphasis on perfectionism, expecting children to excel in every area of their lives without room for mistakes or failures. This pressure can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, and a distorted sense of self-worth.
    3. Emotional Blackmail: Emotional manipulation is a hallmark of toxic family dynamics. Children may be guilt-tripped into conforming to the family’s wishes, often resulting in individuals sacrificing their own needs and aspirations to please their parents or other family members.
    4. Control and Micromanagement: Children in toxic families often find their choices and decisions micromanaged by parents who seek to exert control over their lives. This lack of autonomy can stifle personal growth and lead to feelings of resentment and rebellion.
    5. Invalidation of Feelings: Toxic families may undermine the emotions and experiences of their children, dismissing their feelings as insignificant or even irrational. This can result in children doubting their own perceptions and struggling to establish healthy emotional boundaries.

    The Effects on Children

    The consequences of growing up in a toxic family can be profound and long-lasting:

    1. Low Self-Esteem: Constant criticism and unrealistic expectations can erode a child’s self-esteem, leading to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.
    2. Anxiety and Depression: The chronic stress of navigating toxic family dynamics can contribute to the development of anxiety and depression, as well as other mental health issues.
    3. Difficulty in Relationships: Children who have grown up in toxic families may struggle with forming and maintaining healthy relationships, as they may lack the skills to set boundaries and communicate effectively.
    4. Repeating Patterns: Individuals from toxic families are at risk of perpetuating these harmful patterns in their own lives and families, unless they actively work to break the cycle.

    Overcoming Toxic Family Dynamics

    Breaking free from toxic family dynamics is a challenging journey, but it is possible with determination and support:

    1. Seek External Support: If you’re in a toxic family situation, seeking help from a therapist, counselor, or support group can provide you with a safe space to process your feelings and develop coping strategies.
    2. Establish Boundaries: Learning to set healthy boundaries is crucial. Recognize that it’s okay to prioritize your well-being and say no to unreasonable demands.
    3. Build a Supportive Network: Cultivate relationships with friends, mentors, and positive role models who can provide emotional support and guidance.
    4. Develop Self-Compassion: Practice self-compassion and challenge the negative self-talk that toxic family dynamics may have instilled in you.
    5. Work on Personal Growth: Engage in activities that help you discover your interests and passions, fostering a sense of autonomy and self-discovery.
    6. Therapeutic Techniques: Techniques such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can help you reframe negative thought patterns and develop healthier coping strategies.

    In Conclusion

    Toxic family dynamics can cast a shadow over one’s life, but they don’t have to define it. By recognizing the harmful rules and expectations, understanding their effects, and taking proactive steps to break free, individuals can find the strength to overcome the challenges posed by toxic families. Remember, healing takes time, and seeking professional support can be a crucial step on the path to emotional well-being and personal growth.

  • Burnouts and Breaks

    I needed a break. From all things. Writing felt like a chore and I didn’t have the capacity to worry about what blog content I should be creating. I was feeling the burnout.

    Why can’t I simply go with the flow and write when the mood strikes me?

    I know, I know. Consistency is the key to success. But let’s be honest. I’ve fallen into old habits and it’s so easy to do.

    So it’s the end of March. More than two months since I last posted anything. Sorry about that. (Yeah, I don’t know why I’m apologizing, but there it is!)

    What have I been up to, you ask? (No, you didn’t ask. I know that, too.)

    I have binged on Netflix. (Damn you, Bridgerton.)

    I have spent a lot of time with family and friends.

    I have read more books.

    I have gotten more sleep.

    I have spent time outdoors.

    I have lived life off social media.

    I have taken more pictures.

    And I’m feeling good. Better than ever. Well, except for the stupid cold I had all last week and is still lingering.

    But a hiatus was much needed and I’m ready to get back to my writing.

    What have you been up to?

  • Curiosity

    A few months ago, before the holidays, I had a revelation about myself. I was immersed in planning for Christmas, which always leads me toward planning for the new year, and I realized that I often talk myself out of doing things when I’m feeling insecure. I started to become curious about my behavior.

    Too often friends or colleagues will invite me to try something and my instinct is usually to say no. Later, I’ll think about how fun the activity seemed and why I was too shy, or scared, to step out of my comfort zone.

    I have been working on being more brave and the biking event I participated in last September was my first big step toward that goal.

    So why am I still so reluctant to say yes?

    I am a naturally curious person. I love to learn and seek knowledge by reading books, watching TED Talks and online seminars. But when it comes to certain social engagements, I find that if I’m feeling uncomfortable, I say no to avoid dealing with the emotions I’m feeling. I decided this insecurity and fear must end.

    In yoga class, my instructor often asks us to get curious about what’s happening in our bodies when we move into various poses. She tells us to acknowledge our thoughts, whether positive or negative, and then let them go. It’s not always easy to follow this advice during class, but I try. And sometimes I’m successful.

    It was during my revelatory moment that I discovered I must let go of the thoughts and emotions that hold me back in order to stay curious and not be so reluctant to try new things.

    How do you get and stay curious? I’m so glad you asked, I’ve made a list:

    1. Be a “yes” person. I don’t mean that you have to say yes to everything and everyone around you. (Who has time for that? Not me.) Instead of defaulting to “no,” respond by saying, “Yes, tell me more!” or “Yes, I’ll try that with you!”
    2. Investigate things that spark your interest. Make discoveries. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Do some research, jump on Google, and learn more about what interests you. Too often I make a mental note to check into something, only to forget about it soon after. Keeping a list is helpful. For example, I have recently become interested in snowshoeing. I’ve been researching different brands and have a list of places I’d like to go once I’ve made my purchase. I also have a list of books I want to read that pertain to my newest interests.
    3. Ask questions. I’ve stopped being afraid to show that I don’t know the answers to some things. I wonder aloud and ask others to share their advice and experiences.
    4. Practice being present. Become engaged. Put down your phone, or turn it off if it’s a big distraction. I find that when I’m present in the moment with others, and our shared experiences, I’m more likely to be curious.
    5. Become a student of things you’re interested in and learn as much as you can about them. You might be surprised where your exploration takes you. Recently I was very intrigued by other religions, namely the FLDS church and it’s polygamist past. I devoured every book I could find on the religion, its members and the experiences of those who left the FLDS church. This led me to learn more about Mormonism, Joseph Smith, and how the state of Utah became the LDS capital of the world.

    Curiosity is the desire to learn, or acquire knowledge, about everything or even specific topics. We are all born with it. Babies are especially curious about the world around them. My children ask many questions every day. However, as we grow, we shift from curious learning to knowing and, as an adult, we can reach a learning plateau. None of us is an expert in all things, so continual learning is essential.

    Get curious.

  • New Beginnings

    We’re three weeks into 2022 and I have to say that this year feels different, in a good way. Honestly, I can’t quite put my finger on what is making me feel optimistic. I don’t want to jinx it so I have resigned myself to simply accept what the universe brings forth and go with the flow. Maybe that’s the change; I’ve learned to let go of anything I can’t control and embrace the good things headed my way.

    I didn’t set resolutions this year, but I did write intentions in my journal. One was to consistently exercise. I set a goal of walking five days per week. Looking back at my fitness tracker I’ve only managed to work out four days each week since January 1st. The old me would have had a panic attack about not being perfect; she would have given up and quit working altogether, because her plan was ruined. The new me is giving myself grace, doing what I can in the time I have available and letting go of the need for perfection.

    Another intention was to read more, and that’s gotten off to a rocky start. Last year I read over 60 books and my goal was 52. This year my goal is 60 and I have yet to complete one of the two I started reading this month. Working from home is a big distraction. When I have a free moment I tidy up the house, swap laundry from washer to dryer, or work out over lunch. Reading has taken a backseat for now, but I’m confident I’ll catch up.

    The best part of January is it’s a colder month, and I feel the need to stay home more often than going out. I’m comfortable in this season of dormancy. I love starting the fireplace, watching movies (or even football) with the boys, and not having any obligation to be anywhere but home.

    This month I’ve adopted a mantra, “Do not be tempted by expectation.” It resonates with me because I’ve observed my friends and acquaintances chasing after their goals and ambitions, but not in a way that serves them. I see them competing with others, with the world. They compare what they have to what they do not have. I’m guilty of this, too.

    When I began to reflect on this, I realized I had been in a frenetic pace of activity for too long, and I no longer understood what I was chasing after. After much thought I realized that my ego desired to be successful and I unknowingly forfeited my attention to the temptation of certain achievements, or societal expectations. By caring too much about what others expect of me, I missed opportunities to experience my life in ways that are true to who I am.

    So, this year I’m focusing on me, my goals, and my ambitions. I will not be tempted by expectation. I will choose to “let go” because letting go is a choice for new beginnings.

  • The Value of Beauty

    The holidays brought to my attention the value of beauty that society places upon us, and on women especially. So many advertisements feature extraordinarily beautiful women next to exceptionally handsome men. If I have to see this Dolce & Gabbana commercial one more time…well, I may jump off a cliff.

    I’m not seriously going to attempt suicide, but some of these marketing strategies make many of us feel insecure, inferior, and basically…ugly. I try to understand the reason behind this societal push for women to be 5’10”, size 2, super models or men to resemble Adonis. I think it comes down to the fact that people want to look at beautiful people.

    Not everyone has a super model body, and not everyone should. Accepting the bodies we have, and living healthy lifestyles, is more important than looking like Heidi Klum. The inclusivity, anti-body shaming, movement has picked up a lot of steam over the past few years. I think it’s wonderful that we have plus-sized models willing to pose in swimwear and lingerie. They show the world that they love the skin they’re in (thank you, Oil of Olay, for that catchy phrase), and they empower others to accept themselves for who they are, not who society says they should be.

    All of these thoughts beg the question, what does beauty actually mean?

    I dug out the dictionary and read the definition.

    beau·ty
    /ˈbyo͞odē/
    noun
    1. a combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight.
    “I was struck by her beauty”
    2. a beautiful woman.
    “she was considered a great beauty in her youth”

    Truthfully, everyone’s definition of beauty is different. What I find beautiful, you may find to be less so. I remember hearing the expression, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” as a child, and thinking how odd this phrase was. It had negative connotations for me because I applied it to my physical appearance.

    While one person might find me beautiful on the outside, another may not. For an insecure teenager the phrase is even more troublesome, especially for girls. When society is constantly pushing a narrative that your body size and attractiveness directly correlate to your value as a person, you can imagine the psychological trauma that is inflicted and the mixed messages that are received.

    For me personally, I look beyond someone’s physical appearance. When I’m photographing people, I try to capture the spark in their eyes, their unique smiles, and how the light shines on their faces. My favorite part of taking pictures of friends and loved ones is noticing the laugh lines, crows feet and smile creases. To me these are signs of a life that has been lived and experiences that have been gained.

    There is beauty in everything if you look closely. When I’m taking walks with the dog I always bring my camera. The excitement of seeing the trees, sun, or clouds against a bright blue sky, and the way it all comes together like a brilliant painting, fills me with emotions that I find difficult to describe. Friends have commented on my obsession with color and light and nature scenes. They don’t understand that the way trees frame a walking trail, or the way sunlight hits leaves so brilliantly, sends my mood soaring as high as the birds in the sky.

    My definition of beauty is to notice, to create, and to cultivate the exquisiteness and loveliness that surrounds me. Not only am I drawn to the beauty in nature, but I seek out beautiful souls, people who bring a smile to the faces of others. I look for their beautiful qualities; how they behave, choices they make and how they interact with others.

    Sometimes it isn’t easy to see the beauty in our lives. In addition to keeping a gratitude journal, I also keep a list of all the ways I invite beauty into my life. My eyes and ears are always open so that I can pay attention to and appreciate the small beauties of each day. It’s also important for me to disconnect from digital screens as much as possible so that I’m present in the physical world and intentional with the quality time I spend with those I love.

    In my home I have begun to make changes to my décor so that everywhere I look my eye falls on something beautiful. Last summer I took a painting class and painted a gorgeous sunflower. For weeks that painting sat on my table until I finally hung it on the wall near my bookshelf. It’s the first thing I see when I go to my reading nook. Sometimes I pause after a few chapters just to look at what I created.

    When you become conscious of the beauty in your life, your outlook changes. Instead of dwelling on the negative, you’ll find that your attitude becomes more positive and your mood is lifted. The best part is that this kind of awareness is contagious. Share it with others and watch as they become more positive and aware of the beauty in their lives.

    Beauty is everywhere. Invite it into your life. Notice it. Create it. Cultivate it.

  • New Year, New Energy

    Seven days into the new year and I’m feeling energized. Focused. Determined. Ready to kick ass and take names. Have you ever looked up that phrase? I heard it used often as a child and I pictured someone literally kicking another person’s ass and then asking them, “Hey, what’s your name?” I find that funny. Also, I learned that this idiom means to be unequivocally dominant and in control in some situation. I think it suits me.

    I am undergoing a transformation, a personal revolution. I woke up one day between Christmas and New Year’s and decided that the time has come to put everyone else’s bullshit behind me, to stop wasting time and energy on people who don’t deserve me, and to make myself a priority.

    Selfish? Yes. Necessary? Absofuckinglutely.

    Prioritizing my own self-care has taken on a new meaning. I have consistently exercised this week. This has been something I’ve struggled with because I go through phases. I will work out several days in a row and then skip a day, only to find it’s difficult to get back on the horse. Or treadmill, rather. But this week I ran or walked on the treadmill 4 days and walked the dog outside in the frozen tundra twice. It feels amazing to log food and exercise on MyFitnessPal. Consistency is the key to success.

    I’m also working on personal growth. Meditation and visualization have become a part of my morning routine. At night I read the Bible with my kids. Spiritual growth is important to me, and I’m exploring my own religion, as well as learning about other practices.

    The most important lesson I’ve learned is that I need to step out of my comfort zone. It’s easy to do what’s familiar. The hard things are where growth is found.

    For once, I’m unequivocally in control of my life.

    How is your New Year so far? What changes are you making in your life?