I love my Catholic faith. The teachings of Christ, the sacraments, the sense of community—it’s deeply woven into the fabric of who I am. But loving something doesn’t mean you don’t question it or call it out when necessary. And lately, I’ve found myself wrestling with something troubling: a seemingly growing movement within the American Catholic Church to return to “old” traditions, particularly when it comes to women.
I’ve seen women donning veils in Mass and receiving communion exclusively on the tongue, and I can’t help but feel that this marks a step backward. Let me be clear: I don’t have an issue with women who choose to practice their faith in this way. If wearing a veil makes someone feel closer to God, or if receiving communion on the tongue deepens their reverence, that’s beautiful. Faith is personal, and everyone’s journey is unique.
What I do have a problem with is the undercurrent of manipulation, guilt, or outright judgment from some corners of the Church, suggesting that if you don’t conform to these “traditional” practices, your faith is somehow lacking. That, as a woman, my way of practicing Catholicism must look like it did a century ago. To that, I say no.
The Catholic Church has a long history of oppressing women—limiting our voices, marginalizing our contributions, and sometimes even blaming us for the Church’s shortcomings. I refuse to be guilted, forced, or shamed into a role that feels archaic, subservient, and disconnected from my identity. Women are not the lesser sex, and we don’t need to hide behind veils to prove our holiness.
This isn’t just my personal frustration; it’s a systemic issue. The Church is, ultimately, an organization dominated by men. And often, those men are flawed. Power-hungry. Sometimes narcissistic. And let’s not forget the scars left by the abuse scandal. Many of us—myself included—are still reeling from it, struggling to reconcile the faith we love with the institution that failed so profoundly to protect its people.
It’s not easy being Catholic in America today. There’s a growing divide between tradition and progress, and too often, women are caught in the middle. When women feel unheard or oppressed within the Church, they leave. And when they leave, they take their children with them. That’s why pews are emptier now than in years past.
So, to the leaders of the Church, I ask: Are we so fixated on reclaiming the past that we’re willing to lose the future?
I will always love my faith. But loving my faith doesn’t mean I have to agree with everything about the Church. It’s okay to question, to push back, to demand better. Because if the Church truly wants to thrive in the modern world, it needs to recognize that women are not relics of the past. We are the present, and we deserve a faith that honors our dignity, intelligence, and contributions—not one that tries to veil them.
Hey Dana Jane 