Blog Post: “Wait…Am I the Narcissist?”

Let’s talk about a hard truth today—narcissists, and what it’s like when one calls you a narcissist.

It’s jarring, isn’t it? You’re standing there, trying to explain your feelings or set a boundary, and suddenly—boom—you’re accused of being selfish, dramatic, attention-seeking, or even worse: a narcissist.

And for a split second, it works. You start to spiral. Am I really like that? Do I make everything about me? Am I the problem?

Let me stop you right there. The fact that you’re even asking yourself those questions is a huge red flag in the other direction. Real narcissists don’t wonder if they’re narcissists. They don’t question their intentions or worry about how they affect others. That kind of self-awareness? Not in their playbook.

Narcissists are often incapable of true introspection. They don’t believe they’re flawed or that they could be the cause of hurt. If they ever say things like, “I know I have my faults” or “I guess I’m just the bad guy,” it’s almost always part of a strategy. It’s manipulation disguised as humility. It’s them fishing for reassurance, guilt-tripping you, or trying to flip the script so they can get what they want—your silence, your apology, your compliance.

So let’s be honest: dealing with a narcissist is emotionally exhausting. They project, they gaslight, and they rewrite reality in a way that makes you look like the villain for simply having needs or drawing a line. And when you finally push back, when you say “Enough”—that’s when they panic. That’s when the accusations start.

But here’s the truth: if you’ve spent time questioning yourself, reflecting, even reading this blog post because it struck a chord—you’re not the narcissist. You’re likely the empath, the peacekeeper, the overthinker. And narcissists love those types because they’re easy to manipulate. Easy to guilt. Easy to confuse.

Here’s your reminder: setting boundaries is not selfish. Asking for respect is not narcissistic. Walking away from toxic behavior is not a character flaw. It’s called growth.

If someone keeps calling you the problem every time you stand up for yourself, it might be time to consider who really has the problem.

You’re not crazy. You’re not selfish. And no—you’re not the narcissist.

Keep shining your light. The right people will never try to dim it.